Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
