Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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