he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Randomize
