we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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