Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
