he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
