Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
