What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
