so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
