Your face is a jimmy john
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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