yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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