im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
