i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Randomize
