nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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