Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You may now shotgun with the bride
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Randomize
