Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
