Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
