Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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