i wish peter jackson would direct porn
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
