so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
