It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
