Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
don't judge my taste in strippers
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
