ya dads aren't the best wingmen
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
