well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize