I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
