ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
