Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
