Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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