you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
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