Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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