drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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