I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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