how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
