he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
