Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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