when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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