lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
