can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
