Why are handjobs necessary in class?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize