The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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