I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
