There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
is that a dick in a sweater?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
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