I'm drive I can fine osifer
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
