saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize