i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
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