So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
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the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
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You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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