thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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