So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
