the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
