its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
