very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
