So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
