i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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