my vag is so smooth its legendary
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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