The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
