She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
