TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
