How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
