seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga