My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.