i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
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The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
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my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college