my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
