That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
