hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
