And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
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you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
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I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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