She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
In other news, I just burned my penis
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Randomize
