beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
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I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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