You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Randomize
